Poly Engagement Ring(s) Guide - Part 1 in the Wedding / Commitment Ceremony Series

I've been seeing many triads getting engaged in the various poly groups I belong to.  This has gotten me thinking about the different choices that polyamorists have when it comes to engagement rings, especially triads.  Most engagement rings are single rings or a matching set for a couple.  This wouldn't work well for a triad since, well there are three people.  I did a quick google search to see what options were out there, and honestly there were not really a three piece set that caught my eye.  This made me pretty sad, because I know that I'm not the only person who has searched for such a set of wedding rings.

I don't know why it bothered me so much, but I couldn't help but thinking about those people popping the question to their other partner(s), and the struggle that they had to have went through to find a ring or set of rings that would work for them. 

I decided to go to www.etsy.com and reach out to some shops that had rings that caught my eye to see if they would create custom triad sets.  I am happy to say that there was such a great response.   I decided to come back to my blog and start a whole series on polyamory wedding / commitment ceremony guides.

I hope you enjoy.

*********************************************************************************

At Skyeanddrylie shop I found this adorable carved spoon for only $10.00 .  This would be such a cute way to pop the question.  But it doesn't quite fit for a triad.  So, I messaged the shop and asked if they would be able to do a spoon that said, "Will you marry us?" They responded that they would be able to do that.  They did not say if there would be an additional charge for a custom order or not, so if this idea interests you, send them a message and ask.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/93240597/will-you-marry-me-teaspoon-with?ref=shop_home_active_2

Now onto rings.  These are rings that caught my eye and that I thought would work well for two people as well as triads.  I will note that I contacted each of these shop owners to ask specific questions about their products to see if they could make them more poly friendly and/or triad friendly.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/237116512/personalized-matching-promise-rings

These wedding bands are listed in the shop. OnlyUniqueGifts.  It is listed currently for $49 for the pair.  They did tell me that they could do a set of three, but they have not given me a price yet.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/246302801/preferential-2pcs-couples-rings-set

These wedding rings are listed in the shop FashionMyHome.  This is a set for a man and woman and is currently listed for $27.  They did tell me that they could do a three piece set if I would like.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/104908901/personalized-sterling-silver-promise

These wedding bands can be found in the shop PersonalizedGiftsUSA.  I asked the shop owner if they could put three names on the rings, and they said as long as the number of characters fit they could do that.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/179364552/wedding-band-wedding-ring-engagement

These wedding bands can be found in the shop JubileJewel.  These rings would be awesome for two people, but doesn't quite fit a triad either.  I messaged the shop owner, and asked if they could make two women's rings that said "I love him and her" and a male ring that said "I love her & her".  They said they would be happy to do that.  Since they are able to customize the rings to fit your needs, this would be a great set of rings for a trouple.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/245764869/couple-promise-ring-always-ring-with

This ring can be found in the shop Belvidesigns.  I thought this ring was really cute.  I asked the shop owner if they could do three initials inside and they said yes.

Now onto my favorite triad wedding ring set.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/233921639/personalized-engraved-couples-promise

 This set can be found at OnlyUniqueGifts.  I asked this shop owner if they could do two women's heart rings and one man's ring and they said yes.  Just go to their shop and request a custom order.

Well, I hope you enjoy this wedding ring / engagement ring guide for polyamory couples and triads.    It warms my heart that shops like these on etsy are willing to work with non-traditional relationships to make their commitment ceremony / wedding day as special as their love.

Triad Vacation Time!!!

I'm so excited.  We just finished packing for our vacation, and will be heading out soon.  Well, Lovie and I are finished packing.  Champ just woke up and still has to pack.

We are taking a mini vacation to a cabin in the mountains.  It's just for a few days, but I NEED THIS VACATION so badly.

I have no clue what all we are going to do, but I'd be fine just sitting in the cabin and reconnecting.

I'm brining my computer, because I'd like to work on my poly book series some.  I'm also going to bring my art supplies in hopes that the mountains give me some inspiration.

Until next time,

Fighting the Urge

I know it's been a while since I've posted.  I'm sorry about that. I'm still working full time, and concentrating on my art.  It hasn't really left much time for anything else.

All has been going ok in polyland, well that is until tonight.  Peanut and I were home sick today.  I was home sick the day before.  Doll was off work today.  I was a bad girlfriend and should have spent time with her.  Instead I worked on my art.  I was too focused, and I think I hurt her feelings.  I didn't mean to.  She was saying she didn't feel well either, and napped a lot today.  I thought that I should give her her space, but I guess I thought wrong.

I didn't realize she was upset but I guess she wasl, but how was I supposed to know.  She didn't tell me.  When I am focused on my art, I get lost in time.  It's one of the things that I love most about doing it.  The world just melts away, but today I let it melt too far because I didn't realize she was actually upset.

Champ came home from work.  We ate dinner, and all set down to watch some tv.  He started to fall asleep, and she got even more upset.  I was giving her space.  I try not to get in the middle of arguments if they have them, because they deserve their space to work things out just the two of them.

But as I'm typing this, they are in the bedroom arguing.  It is breaking my heart, and I want to go in there so badly and help them work through it, but it isn't my place.  When she's ready to talk to me about being upset that we all haven't been spending time together, I will be ready to listen.  But they need time to work through their things going on.

Sooooo........

I'll just be sitting here fighting the urge to go in there.


Until next time,

Where In the World Have I Been?

So you might be asking yourself where I have been.  You might not be, but hey, I'm going to tell you anyway what all we have been up to.

Lovie came back from school.  Champ, Peanut, & I were so glad that she did.  It just didn't feel right without her here.  I actually don't think that I have posted on here since she's been back, but we spent a lot of time catching back up.  And then the everyday life kind of took over, lol.  She busted her ass while at school and then came back and busted her ass to get in the required amount of time needed to get her Pet Stylist (AKA Dog Groomer) certification.  I'm so proud of her!

I have been focusing on drawing and painting.  I don't remember if I had posted on here before that I am a writer.  Well, I needed a break from writing at the time.  I have no clue why I did, but I picked up a sketch book and some graphite pencils and charcoal pencils and started drawing again.  I had stopped for like 8 years, and have no idea why I started back, but I have been creating art like crazy.  I'm not saying that I have completely stopped writing and won't ever writer another book, but I just needed a break for a bit.

Peanut has started school again, so our lives have been super hectic (like they always are when school is in session).  It's hard to believe that he is in 1st grade now.  Man how time flies.

Champ has just been being champ lol.  He's been playing video games and hanging out at the house lol.  

Until Next Time,

I'm Bored

I'm just going to go ahead and say it.  I'm bored.  Why am I bored?  Because it's just me and Peanut in the house together all weekend.  Well me, peanut, and the way too many animals we have lol.  

Champ went to go spend the weekend with Lovie so that leaves me at the house alone.  And let me tell you; it's a very weird feeling.  It's been a very long time since I slept alone and didn't wake up to one or both of them here.  I'm not sad or upset or anything, I'm happy that they get to spend some time together.  I'm sure both of them are having a great time and are happy to spend some (I'm sure) much needed time together, but it's just weird being in the house without either one of them.

I couldn't sleep last night, though it was nice just to lay on the couch and watch a ton of bad movies, and just not do ANYTHING.  I tried to go to sleep around midnight, but I kept waking up off and on and would stay up for a bit each time.   Unfortunately, Peanut had me up at 6am.  I don't know why he is such an early bird.

I have messed around on the computer a bit.  I've been researching some other poly blogs and websites to contact to see if they will put a link to my poly surveys to help spread the word.  The more responses that I get, the more reliable my data will be.

What I really really really need to be doing is cleaning up this house.  I don't know how it can get so messy so quickly.  It's a small house, but still....  We need to figure out some kind of schedule or something so we can all stay on top of it, but that is for another day.

Well, I guess I need to get to cleaning.

Until next time,

Calling all Poly People!

I have pitched a book series to my book editor about a poly series that focuses on advice from poly people.  Topics include everything from dating, to jealousy, to having kids.  I would like to have it include advice from fellow polyamorous people from around the globe.  Are you interested in submitting advice or telling your beautiful love story?  Please use the links below to submit.  You're submissions will remain anonymous.  You get to chose what name you'd like to be represented as, what questions you answer, everything.  Share as much or as little about your happy poly life as you would like.  And please share with others that might want their poly voice heard. The survey is split up into topics in order to allow people to fit in a survey as they have the time.  Thank you so much.

• To take the Poly Stats Survey click here.
• To take the Coming Out as Poly Survey click here.
• To take the Metamour(s) Survey click here (please note, this survey covers topics about metamours not just for metamours to answer)
• To take the Time Management Survey click here.
• To take the Poly with Children Survey click here.
• To take the Rules and Boundaries Survey click here.
• To take the Jealousy Survey click here.
• To take the Compersion and Happy Poly Moment's Survey click here.
• To take the Pros and Cons of Poly Configurations Survey click here.

Until next time,

Ask a Triad Any Poly Related Questions You May Have

Fill out the form below to ask us anything you want that is related to being poly and we will answer it.  Whether you have a question about being a triad, having a kid and being poly, or just looking for poly related advice we are here to help.  Click the Contact Us link below to submit your question or comment.

Contact us

My Surprise Visit to See Lovie

So after Lovie was gone a week, I was missing her terribly.  Champ and I talked, and decided that we'd work it out so I could surprise Lovie with a visit!

I managed to get ahold of one of Lovie's coworkers who was also attending grooming school with her.  I let her know that I was planning on coming down and when.  She was awesome and helped me coordinate the surprise.

I have to say that I was so excited the week leading up to it.  I had my bags packed the night before and it was so damn hard not to call Lovie up and scream "I'm coming to see you!"  But I had decided to surprise her so that is what I planned to do.  I am an absolute horrible person when it comes to keeping surprises a surprise, just so you know.  I had trouble sleeping the night before, and don't even get me started on how long my half a day at work felt.  It took what felt like forever for me to finally leave the office and hit the road.

The trip there was quite eventful.  It poured rain, and I almost got hit in my car.  I was so relieved when I finally got there.

I met them at a restaurant.  Champ, Lovie, and I had been texting in group text for a while.  The whole way there, I had been planning in my head how I would surprise her.  Would I just walk in?  Would I ask her to come outside?  Would I just text her and say I there?  Would I grab her hotel room key out of her car and just be in her room when she got there?  I played out all of the different scenarios in my head.  It was pretty funny actually, it felt like I was going on my first date with her, even though she has been living with me and Champ for almost 17 months at that point, but honestly me and her have never had more than a few hours alone together.  So, it kind of was like a first date. And it was our first overnight alone date.

I had finally picked out the perfect way that I was going to surprise her.  I thought that I had selected Champ's name on my phone and typed "I'm here."  My phone dinged and Lovie had written "Where?"

I almost slapped myself in the forehead.  I had grabbed the group text icon.  I took a deep breath and walked in.  I responded "I'm here" to Lovie.  I think she was quite confused because she didn't respond right away.  I walked into the restaraunt, found Lovie and her coworker, and sat down.  I was so happy to see how happy Lovie was to see me there.  I had been worried she'd be disappointed some that Champ wasn't with me.

We spent the that night bonding and having amazing sex.  The next day she woke up and had to go to school.  I spend the day at her hotel poolside building this blog, and designing some poly cards.  It was a great break from the day to day that has been bringing me down.  I was so excited when she finally came back to the hotel from school.  We went to the lake with some other students in the school, and ate the most amazing pizza I've ever put in my mouth.  Later that night we went to a gay and lesbian club together with some of the students in the school.  It was a blast.  I do not dance and I was the designated driver, so I wasn't as carefree as I would have been with a few drinks in me, but it was awesome to kinda dance, ok ok, more like stand there while Lovie danced on me, and hold hands and kiss and all that other awesome stuff in public and no one bat and eye.  I have been to a gay/lesbian club before but never with a girlfriend.  It was a much different experience.

We left the club pretty early because everyone had to be back at school early the next day.  I fell asleep in Lovies arms and slept so well.  I woke up the next day, and we said our goodbyes, but they weren't as sad as the previous week's had been.

Seeing Lovie and spending a few days alone with her made me so happy.

Until next time,

Tags: poly, polyamory, happy poly family, poly love, more than two

Our First Mini Triad Vacation

Two weeks ago, Champ and I drove down with Lovie to take her to her temporary home where she will be attending Grooming School.  It was a trip full of mixed emotions.  It was mixed with joy and sadness.

It was out 1st vacation as a triad and it was a blast.  We only got to stay one night because Lovie had to check into her own hotel and we had to get back to work, but it was fun none-the-less.  We left Peanut at home with my parents because we didn't want him to see us upset if we became emotional at goodbye time.  Plus, we all knew we would want one last threesome before she would be gone for a month.  Can't do that with a kiddo in the room.



I decided to drive my car separately and have Doll and Champ ride together.  They had been having some relationship problems lately, so I thought a few hours in the car alone, might be just what they needed.

We got to our hotel and the lovely older woman greeted us.

"Welcome.  Name please."

I told her the name it was booked under.

She furrowed her brow and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, but it looks like there has been a mistake.  They booked you as a king bed, and I'm sorry but I cannot change it because we are booked solid."

At this point, I had to stifle a giggle.  I knew it might be odd checking in three adults, but I never really gave it much thought that it would be considered a mistake when we were booked.

I thanked the woman for her concern but told her that it was no mistake and that we had booked a king bed.

She gave us the most confused look and all she said was, "Oh."

She regained her composure and told us the things that I'm sure she's said thousands of times.  You know the usual: breakfast is at blah blah o'clock, your room is on the left, parking is first come first serve.

We found our room, got our luggage and had a good laugh about how confused the woman was.

We had a great time.  We spend time snuggling in bed together, which honestly was one of the highlights of the trip.  There was no one to care for, no where we had to be by a certain time, and no work to concentrate on.  We went out to dinner, and walked around downtown.  It was so much fun.  It was also nice to hold hands with Lovie in public.  We don't do that often when we are in our hometown because #1 we usually have Peanut with us and we still have him pretty much in the dark about our relationship because we don't think he is mature enough to handle all of the information about it and #2 We live in a small town that word gets around in so damn quickly.

The day we dropped Lovie off was a sad one.  We hung around as long as we could and tried to make the best of it, but honestly you could just feel the sadness in the air no matter how much we tried to avoid it.  Champ and Lovie were a Vee for almost a year before we began our triad a little over 17 months ago, so we have all known and grown to love each other so much, and it was sad to know that a part of us would be gone for even just a month.

We finally had to say our goodbyes because we had to get home to pick up Peanut and take care of the animals.  We all tried to hide the tears that threatened to spill.  I didn't want to cry in front of Lovie because she was going to be staying there alone, I at least would have Champ home with me to comfort me if needed.

Am I glad we still went and had a mini-vacation even though we had a hard goodbye?  Yep I am.  It was awesome and so much fun.

Until Next Time,

I Miss Lovie So Badly

Lovie went away to grooming school a little over two weeks ago, and damn I miss her so badly.  She will only be gone for a month, but so far it feels like eternity.  I never thought that only after 17 months of being together, I would have grown so close to her.

The house just doesn't feel the same without her around.  It's so weird.  I thought that it might bring Champ and I closer together because we'd have some one-on-one time, but honestly the things just don't seem right without her here.

I have been doing things to try to remind her that we both love her very much and miss her.  We talk via text everyday individually and as a group. I have also sent her a card almost every day since she has been gone.  Some of the cards have been store bought, some have been just hand doodled blank cards. It's just been my way of reminding her that we will be here for her when she gets back.

Peanut has handled this the best out of all of us.  He misses her, but isn't really down.  I asked him the other day why he wasn't sad that Lovie was gone.  He looked at me in a confused manner and said, "Because she's coming back.  She's got to go to school."  Leave it to a six year old to put things into perspective.  I know I shouldn't be sad that she's gone, because she is doing what she has to do, but damn it's hard not to be.

Champ is going down to spend the weekend next weekend with Lovie, and I'm so happy for them.  I wish I could go soon, but someone has to stay and care for the animals and Peanut.  I got to go see her for the weekend last weekend, so I've already gotten a trip to see her, so I know that Champ should go alone.  I'll survive.  I'll miss them both, but I'll be ok.  If you want to read about my visit with Lovie click here.

One good thing that came out of her going away to school was that we went on our first mini vacation together as a triad.  It was only for one night but it was so much fun.  You can read about our mini vacation here.

Well, I guess that is enough crying about how much I miss Lovie.  I feel better after getting it all out.

Until next time,